Deep-dive into one powerful technique to build strong relationships & referrals

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September 16, 2022

Referral marketing goes hand in hand with relationship building. If you know how to build strong relationships you can create a powerful and effective referral strategy. Referrals are amazing because they mean you're not only being shared with someone's trusting audience, but also your offer is receiving their stamp of approval. In this article we'll be delving into one powerful strategy to build strong relationships.

This is part 2 of a series about Thommy Sandvick's insights on referral marketing. He's one of the top 2% of network marketers and he came on our podcast The Coach Tribe to share how learning to build strong relationships got him out of a financial struggle and onto being a successful entrepreneur. You can read part 1 here or watch the whole episode here.

Here’s what we learned so far from Thommy: 

Takeaway #1: Read The seven levels of communication: go from relationships to referral by Michael J. Maher

Takeaway #2: Start asking people how you can help them instead of asking for referrals

Takeaway #3: Make sure your emotional bank account is balanced: give before asking for something

Takeaway #4: Don’t just stop at making someone your client, move them into the referral zone 

Takeaway #5: Focus on quality, on building relationships, not on quantity

Takeaway #6: Identify people in your influential zone and connect with them

To be remembered you have to stand out. Email boxes are filling up fast and everything that is not urgent can become white noise. That's why the little-used strategy of hand-written notes is such a powerful way to strengthen relationships and receive enthusiastic referrals.

One powerful and effective strategy for building a relationship and generating referrals is using handwritten notes. Yes, it is old school, and this is why it stands out – it’s personal and impactful

Here are the seven steps to writing the perfect handwritten note that will get people contacting you and get you into referral conversations. 

1. Use unbranded cards

Using unbranded cards makes communication feel even more personal and helps build trust. Running a webinar or having a discovery call with someone are perfect opportunities to send handwritten notes to build trust and improve the sales process.

Tip: Using a personal symbol can help you stand out. Thommy likes to use a magnet to symbolize attraction. 

2. Use blue ink

Using blue ink shows authenticity. People will know you took the time to write the note and will appreciate it even more.

3. Find something specific to appreciate about the other person

You should communicate a characteristic, skill, or talent that you appreciate about the other person and the depth of this depends on the depth of the relationship.

4. Use the power of positive projection

Identify a skill you want to improve and communicate your appreciation when you find someone that already masters that skill. Use the power of positive projection and point that out. For example, if you’re not detail-orientated and your client is, you can say, "Your organizational skills are unmatched!”

5. Focus on the other person

Avoid using “I”, “me” or “my” in the notes and instead, use “you” or “your”. Look at the difference between the 2 examples:

Susie, I loved the ideas you shared on our call.

Susie, the ideas you shared on our call were incredible.

Reframe the sentence so the focus is on the other person.

6. Write with an upward slope to the right

Writing with an upward slope to the right conveys a positive self-image. You can find out more about it by reading Vimala Rodgers’ book, Your Handwriting Can Change Your Life.

7. Use a P.S. which calls to action

The hand-written note turned out great so far, but even so, the relationship might die here. How can you avoid that? By writing a PS which calls to action. It can look similar to this “PS. Text me when you get this at [phone number]”. You can even use voice calls. Now they will contact you to thank you for the note. Take this opportunity to build the relationship further and even ask for a withdrawal from the emotional bank account (e.g. a few minutes of their time to answer some questions) if the balance allows you to.

That’s it! You’re now equipped to build strong relationships and take your business to the next level using referrals.

If you’re ready to grow your business check out these resources next:

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